Dear Diary : I know am a Drama Queen

I was taking my bath when I overhead the new squatter taking a call, infact take calls and each call she gives V.I, Lekki,Ikoyi as her location.
I quickly rushed my bath, wrap my long towel around my body and joined them at the sitting room, the new girl had them under her spell, they were all paying much attention to her long tales which I guess are all lies, I decide to spoil their  fun.

"Why do you keep giving VI as your location when you know you are not close to it? Here is Lawanson in case you don't know yet and it does not look anything like Vi"" 

I said to the newbie

"Ah sister are you a learner? I can't possibly admit I live in a place like this, it will reduce my price, guys likes posh babes and posh babes lives in the Island not here, if they want me to come I will board bike to wherever they are and if am going I will be given island girls payment, hahahhah"

She was laughing at her silly reasoning, Ifem, Evelyn who's original name was Ivie but she think it local, Lucy,  everybody was laughing with her and nodding in agreement till I said.

"Please leave our house, you are not spending a night here, I don't want pretenders contaminating this house" leaving them with shock plastered on their faces I strode to my room, put on my nightie, lay flat on the bed while adjusting the fan to blow my Punani only.

"Now Ure what was that all about? Must you show yourself? You are a babe you also lie small small lies like this, can't you let the babe be  now she is crying her heart out in the parlour, you better go assure her she can stay and it's a joke" said Ifem, I raised up my head to look at her long fine legs, I also saw Evelyn's and daisy's as well

"But its not a joke, you know I don't joke, that nigga insulted our collective efforts and sweats, am proud of where I live, I don't care if you don't, I won't let someone who does not pay a dime to sit on my sofa, eat my foods, use my water and still insult me join, no I won't take it, you should feel insulted too, that is you really understand the gravity of her words.

"Ure I also pay for all these and it's "we me and you" complained Ifem

"And me also, I pay nepa bills so I believe I have rights like Ifem and you, Evelyn is my friend, our friend and Esosa the new girl is her friend, I have the right to ask her to stay" chipped in Daisy.

"Excuse me Daisy, you pay what? What right? Ifem how much do we pay per annum?

"400 thousand naira"  answered Ifem.

By then I was up from bed, i searched for the recent Nepa bill receipt, I got the Nepa receipt.

"Right, 400 thousand naira per annum which we split into two,  that's 200 thousand naira per person and Daisy here is claiming jurisdiction and right over, let me check the nepa bill again, ok, over 2000naira nepa and that's 12,000 naira per annum"  Wonderful! I suggest we all vacate this apartment and move into your nepa bill receipt and save us some money, let me do a little calculation, 400,000 minus 12,000 will give us.....

"Ure stop being a fool and a drama queen, I get it she will go and stop reading too much American novels it's affecting your reasoning, Mtsheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew" Ifem hissed and left my room, Daisy followed banging my door with a loud clang sound.

I know they all must hate me now but I don't care, nobody will ever make me feel stupid, am proud of my apartment whichever part of Lagos it is, I pay to live in it, even if I live rent free is better than sleeping under the bridge.
Any guy that is not impressed should rent or buy me an apartment anywhere that is Tushed enough for him. I hissed and hissed and hissed and am mighty proud of my accomplishments.

I should join the Theatre I have a flair for dramatics, don't you think so?
Hahahahaha